Morrisons in a muddle: what's the difference between a non-exec director and a shopping trolley?

Upon his passing in 2017, The Yorkshire Post recorded the death of Sir Ken Morrison as the loss of ‘the gentleman grocer who broke the mould.’

Sir Ken was a titan of the retail industry, having dedicated himself over half a century to whisking up a humble, Bradford-based egg and butter stall into a national supermarket giant. His first job, ‘candling eggs’ - holding them up to the light of a flame to check for defects - saw him put to work aged just five.

Sir Ken was a proud, tea-drinking Yorkshireman with a penchant for fish and chips on a Friday. Tradition meant a lot to him. As did his beloved grocery stores, the physical manifestation of his and his family’s dedication to putting food on people’s tables, doing business in the right way.

His sense of humour was notorious. Once asked about board formulation and the possible counsel of non-executive directors he quipped: “What’s the difference between a non-exec and a shopping trolley? You can get more wine in a non-exec!” He is said to have added: “I can employ two checkout girls for the price of one non-exec!”

Because Sir Ken knew, for example, that the smiles on the faces of the people operating the checkouts were the face and fortune of his business. After all, a ‘now then, love, are you having a nice day? Did you find everything you need?’ is much nicer than “UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!”

Which, I think, is a nice moment to segue into the items in Morrisons’ bagging area that Sir Ken would deem unexpected:

Almost 5,000 staff members shaved off the roster last year, the bulk of them store workers;

£7.5bn of debt - £7,500,000,000 … up from c.£7bn last year;

Almost £1bn of in-year losses

Overtaken in market share terms by Lidl

Now, you do not need to be the most astute of market analysts to know that rising debt in the face of a 5,000-strong headcount reduction is not good news, particularly as the debt pile is one of such heft.

I don’t know if you’ve been into a Morrisons of late, I have, but you can see where the job losses are. There are now as many if not more self-service checkout stalls than ones operated by friendly faces and the cleaning is done by robots that crawl towards you at a menacingly-slow snail’s pace, such that even the most infirm among us can enjoy playing Matador with them.

Overtaken now by Lidl, a plucky discounter that has found favour with customers who clearly appreciate more than just its price point, you cannot help but feel worried for the Bradford-headquartered outfit, and that pains me.

As we discussed its plight in our editorial conference, I described Morrisons as a county elder when it comes to cherished brands. One that is hugely respected and admired. One that we must look after. The memory of Sir Ken compels those of us who care about Yorkshire to root for the egg and butter stall done good, and so from one historic Yorkshire brand to another, were it a person, The Yorkshire Post would say a prayer in the spirit of hoping the successful turnaround of our dear supermarket comes sooner than later.

There’s your change, love.

James

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